six feet under the stars

meet me on thames street. i'll take you out, though i'm hardly worth your time. in the cold you look so fierce. but i'm warming up because the tension's like a fire. we'll hit south broadway in a matter of minutes. and like a bad movie, i'll drop a line. fall in the grave i've been digging myself. but there's room for two, six feet under the stars.

i can't believe 2009 is almost here! this year has gone by soo fast and soo much has happened! i never thought i could experience as much as i did this year. sometimes, it doesn't feel as if it all happened. i lived most of my life in the shadow of others. i was a leader when i needed to be, but 75% of the time i was a follower. i went with the flow. i let people walk all over me. i forgave too easily. i learned a lot this year, and i love how it changed me for the better.

this year i became an adult. i graduated high school as senior class president with honors. i stepped up to the plate when i needed to. i let go of people who were holding me back. i re-established flickering relationships. i fell in love. i stood up for myself. i stopped letting someone use me. i put myself first when needed. i took on more responsibility. i lost a friend. i took chances. i met some heroes. i did something i never though i'd do. i had fun. i laughed. i cried. i had the best day of my life. i had amazing memories.

not all things go according to plan and that's what helps make life beautiful. this year hasn't all been a field of daisies and rainbows, but those bad times produced lessons. lessons i will forever remember. i can honestly say that this year has blown me away by it's beauty. i'm so blessed to be where i am today and to have experienced everything i have. i thank jesus everyday for the life he's given me.

if this year was this fantastic, then i can only imagine what 2009 is gonna be like, and i'm super stoked to find out!!! = D

merry late christmas and happy new year!!!

for me this is haven

when the time we have now ends. when the big hand goes round again. can you still feel the butterflies? can you still hear the last goodnight? close my eyes and believe wherever you are, an angel for me.

soo much has happened in the past twenty-eight days since my last post. got hired at gap for seasonal, thanksgiving with my family, first black friday in retail (crazy!!), realizing what is really important to me, moving on, going to a transvestite bar, getting lost in the christmas spirit, and most importantly experiencing the best day of my life so far.

kaelee and i took my sister and my cousin to see the jonas brothers and i've never been so moved until that night. a lot of people don't know this but my cousin is 16, one of the funniest people i know, and she's mentally challenged with autism and terrets. she can't really spell much more than her name, and her mentality is the same as a four year old's, but she will make you feel more loved than you've ever felt and she's soo full of life. i was in tears just about the entire time the jonas brothers were performing. seeing her jump and sing along and dance and wave to them and copy everything they did, it was just...incredible.

my mom and i had written a letter to 933 explaining our situation with my cousin and tried to make it possible for her to meet them but we never heard anything back. somehow, fate kind of happened to be by our side and my aunt had emailed my other two cousins the letter and one of my cousin's clients has a niece who works for the jb teams, travels all over the world with the and everything. she had called her niece while she was getting her hair done and her niece asked my cousin to forward the email to her. somehow, all out email addreses got deleted when the email went through but that doesn't even matter. just the fact that the jonas brothers have read that letter that meant soo much to every person who read it and that means even more to my family, it's indescribable. hopefully the next time they come to sd we will be able to meet them, so brandy can say hi and wave to them and oh man, that would seriously make my life, no lie.

it's people who have a spirit and heart like her that can make movements happen. i'm just one of the lucky ones who got to witness it first hand.

WE LOVE JB!!