games

and i wonder will you care when i'm gone and it's done and i've really had enough? and i'm sorry for the trouble it's been costing us soo much. splitting apart is getting harder to tell what you want. i'm so bored with these games.

have you ever felt that life was starting to look up? like, everything was going good and you're just cruising along then something suddenly puts all that to a hault? well, hello to you too life-haulter.

i had a friend. friend and i were best friends for two years. we were the typical attached at the hip-spent every free moment together-didn't do anything without the other type. to make a long story very, very short, things fell through. she blames it on a boy, i blame it on typical high school stuff: drama, drama, and drama. it was all too much for me so i said screw it. last time we talked was in june. last time we talked as best friends was december of 2007.

well, all that changed on thursday when friend texted me apologizing and wanting to be friends again. i told her it was all good, never had anything against her, but i didn't think i could be friends with her again. we talked about grabbing lunch and talking it out face-to-face, that's the only way we can ever get everything out in the open - feelings, thoughts, opinions. we'll see what happens.

as if that didn't throw off my day enough, later that evening my parents and i had to take my sister to the ER. she fell while trying to break up a fight and smacked the back of her head pretty hard on the pavement. she didn't complain about it at first, but then she started to say that she felt really dizzy and then all hell broke lose. she started crying and screaming and she didn't know how to do anything or what was wrong. so we spent six hours in the ER and found out she had a concussion. it was one of the scariest things i've experienced, just with it being my little sister and because she was there of her head. it's always scary when something's wrong with a person's head, soo many possibilities. thankfully, she's okay.


in other news. . . i'm finally nineteen. birthday was good, felt lots of love from all my friends and family. =) got nick and norah's infinite playlist!!!!! oh boy, that movie has some fantastic one-liners and an amazing soundtrack! plus, michael cera looks as cute as ever! i've been scoring major hours at work the passed week, thank goodness! i need all the money i can get! haha FINALLY got hsm3 yesterday!!!!!!!! wal-mart had sold-out of the extended version on tuesday and only had the boring version so i opted to wait. but yesterday when i went there with my dad i saw it and made him buy it for me! yes, i still cry every time i watch it. haha

i can't wait to go see this movie with my sister and cousin!! =)

running

be, be the one i need. be the one i trust most. don't stop inspiring me. sometimes it's hard to keep on running, work so much to keep on going. don't make me want to give up. running, running as fast as we can. do you think we'll make? we're running. keep holding my hand so we don't get seperated.

t-minus eleven days until i turn 19. i'm still scared, and i still feel old. nineteen always seemed like one of those awkward years you have growing up. it's your last year of being a teenager, but yet you're an adult, but you still have limits because you're not twenty-one yet. i don't know, it's just awkward. i'm still totally okay with the idea of going off to neverland and being part of peter's crew and fighting captain hook. i wonder if he'd give me a cool name or something. haha.

woohoo for finally finding some videos i can download that are in ipod format. i think all videos should come in wmv and ipod format! maybe when i upgrade from dial-up (yes, some people still have that haha) i'll be able to find more videos. it's been sprinkling for the past couple days. i love winter and all, but i'm kinda sick of being cold. spring please come soon!

this year has been pretty cool so far. a new president, a new job, a new outlook on life; i expect to learn a lot in '09. so far i haven't failed. i want to experience a lot this year too. i want to learn more about myself, more about the people i surround myself with, more about life in general. i love that learning is something you can do everyday. not even the smartest person in the world will ever know everything about everything. oh!

PARAMORE'S OPENING FOR THE NO DOUBT 2009 SUMMER TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously, i squealed when i read the bulliten on myspace. i've been waiting for-freaking-ever for no doubt to release a new cd and tour again, but for it to be with paramore, that's like......i'm speechless. if you know me, you know that paramore is my favorite band. i've been there since the very beginning when they were on the pink stage at warped. i was there when they came to san deigo for the first time. i've been there for it all and i'm soo proud of them! i know i might sound a little ridiculous but i'm soo happy for all they've achieved. seriously, this is like a dream tour for me right there!

inevitable

do you remember when we were just kids, and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss? school yard conversations taken to heart, and laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not. i wanna break every clock, the hands of time could never move again. we could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives. is it over now? hey, hey is it over now? i wanna be your last first kiss that you'll ever have. i wanna be your last first kiss.

2009 is here! can you believe it?! i seriously can't get over how fast 2008 whizzed on by. new year's eve was spent at the best friend's house laughing, drinking, and just being our normal dorky selves. i loved that we brought that tradition back to life! ah, love that girl to death!

it's crazy, in exactly one month i'll be nineteen years old. my last year as a teenager. no, i'm not stoked about it either! i'm that person that wants to go fly off to never never land with peter and fight captain hook so i wont have to grow up. it would be adventerous, right? anyway. . .nineteen. ugh! school maybe in session next month also, or in march. i haven't really decided yet. i'm still trying to work out all the kinks so i can do what i want to. at the rate i'm going, my semester off might turn into a year off. haha


lately a lot of things have been eating away at my mind. some good, some bad. love is a strange thing, but something i whole-heartedly believe in. i believe every single person has a soul mate. i believe everyone deserves the right to be happy. i believe everyone deserves the right to love freely. wether any of those things are in a homosexual or heterosexual way, it doesn't matter. everyone deserves those three things. lately, it seems that true love is so rare with individuals. people throw love around like it's nothing, saying it to get what they want. something people don't seem to understand is that love isn't just a feeling, it's a passion. something that's meant to be soo strong and and feel soo strong that it takes over your mind, heart, body and soul. hopefully, more people will start remembering the true meaning of love and help bring it back.

question of the day: do you have any new years resolutions?